I am not big on New Year’s resolutions. I believe if you are going to do something, you do it. Why wait for the new year? Also, let’s be honest, how many people actually keep those resolutions? Chances are if you were a poopy pants yesterday, you are still a poopy pants today and try as you may, your “resolve” to change will fade as quickly as the month goes by and come Ground Hog Day, you will have forgotten what it was you had opted to do but more importantly, you will have made excuses for not doing it and justified slipping back into old ways. It’s true. I think it is awesome those who make resolutions and keep them thru March; its amazing if they are still in effect come June and if by chance they kept them all year, well that’s downright astonishing.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe the new year is a new opportunity but don’t we forget that every day is one? Sure, January 1st is the start of a new year; a new chapter; the symbolic new beginning. It’s one day. What about the 364 other days of the year? Are they all just a count down to another beginning? Well, Becky, I screwed up so now I must wallow in it until next year when I can start over. No! Don’t get me wrong, I am one who likes to start things on a Monday. If I am going to start a new work out routine or cleaning or project or anything, I like to start it on a Monday. Don’t ask me why, I just do. But there are 52 Mondays in the year not just one.
One thing I do like at New Year’s is looking back over the year. I enjoy reading top news stories from the year, seeing top images from the year, top propaganda sold to us all for the year, top books, movies and music for the year, top discoveries, etc. Looking back over the year, it is amazing at all that transpired in just one year. You look back so you can move forward. At least I do.
2018 was not the most stellar year for me. But what defines stellar? I’m alive, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a loving family, healthy family and for the most part I am healthy. I do not have a gaggle of friends but the friends I do have are genuine and loyal. I also have a God who loves me and a relationship with Him that is unbreakable and unshakable. All in all, I am pretty rich. At my age, there isn’t a lot that I am going to glean from life lessons but there are things that will be strongly reaffirmed. Over the past week or so, I have taken the time to think about my 2018 experience and even though it was a year, I’m glad it’s over. It was a year that reminded me of some very important things.
10. I am so old, I have actually dialed a rotary phone while listening to an 8-Track then watched a black & white tv that had aluminum foil on rabbit ear antennas. In addition, to test this theory, all I have to do is slip and fall in a store. If they laugh, I’m not so bad; if they all rush over to help and call me ma’am, I know I’m done for. I have become one of “those” who actually say, “Kids today…” This had led me to two fundamental thoughts: growing older is truly a blessing and kids today really need to get with the program. By the same token, us “mature” folks need to set an example for the younger folks – and I’m not just talking about children, I’m talking about all ages younger – with our wisdom and life lessons. It is only this way will we ever truly impact generations. We need to quit mumbling, “Kids today.” We need to invest in them. Sometimes that is as simple as just asking them how they are doing. Sometimes that is “tough love.” Sometimes that is lending a hand. It is being intentional with each other regardless of our generation and being sincere about it. It is not us against them. We are all in this together. Respect starts with us.
9. Life is hard and it is supposed to be. Most people fail because they try to copy or imitate someone else or be something they aren’t without realizing the test and trials in front of them were created custom for them. You can’t cheat and pass. No one has the same test. Nowhere in the Bible does it say, “Thou shall have an easy life.” Nope. Quite the opposite. Nowhere does it have the shortcuts to riches, worries, overcoming obstacles, hurt, etc. But what it does have is a proven recipe for navigating this life. It clearly spells out what we all need to do to be truly successful. Instead, so many folks buy into a worldview that sells shortcuts and cookie cutter approaches. I’m not always the brightest when it comes to certain things but if it is one thing I have learned the hard way, it is for some things, there are no short cuts. It is kind of like buying generic toilet paper. It may be cheaper but does it hold up when you really need it? So, as we walk thru this world, let us be reminded not to pray for an easier life or mold ourselves into what we think the world wants us to be. Instead, let us boldly embrace the Grace of God and ask for a stronger back.
8. Wrong doesn’t become right even though it is supported or endorsed by the majority. Growing up, I am sure everyone heard, at least once, “If your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?” Nowadays, don’t dare ask a group that because chances are they would. Knowing right from wrong is one thing; doing it is a whole different thing. What baffles me about this mentality is, well, everything. When did we all stop doing what was right? Oh that’s right, when character and reputation became accusations not truth; truth became relative not absolute; everyone seemed to get offended by everything; everyone and no one wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings and spines just disappeared. Doing the right thing is always right – even when no one is looking. It is doing what you said you were going to do long after the spirit in which you said it has passed. Its stopping at a red light at 3am and there is no one on the street but you. Its returning the shopping cart to the cart return in the pouring rain. It’s standing up even if you have to stand alone. If you think one person cannot make a difference, try spending the night in a tent with a mosquito.
7. Thanos was wrong… plain and simple. I fully understand the “logic” behind his destruction of worlds. (For those of you not familiar with the psychology of his character, I’ll sum it up. His world was destroyed by over population. He decided to save the universe and get his world back by acquiring the infinity stones. He would travel to worlds and save them from the fate of his world (over population) by randomly killing half the population. His logic was this would save them. He would also kill anyone who interfered with him acquiring all of the infinity stones. Once he had them all, he could bend time, space, etc. and bring his world back. Which he did. In his mind he was not evil. He was a great guy because he spared worlds the fate of his world by randomly (that’s the key) half the population. It was fair and unemotional. Overpopulation is a serious issue.) We just made him look like a bad guy. Now, this discussion can take pages and pages; days and days. It is what it is. I will not argue the point. One of the things reaffirmed to me in 2018 was Thanos was wrong. Believe what you want but it is true. I have strong opinions on this and it has bothered me greatly. Yes, it was a movie. Yes, it was based on a comic. Yet it bothers me greatly when bleeding hearts try to justify the evil he did in the name of rational thought. Movie or not, you’re an idiot. He was the villain for a reason. Accept he was the villain and quit trying to make it OK and then we can talk.
6. You can be the juiciest, ripest, best peach in the bag and there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches. It doesn’t matter how good you are, how hard you work, how great of a person you are, how much you accomplish, what an asset you can be or are, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you, can’t or won’t see your value or someone better than you. People are people. The same crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that applauds your beheading; people like a show. Sometimes, the best and only thing you can do is walk away with your head held high knowing the truth. People don’t like themselves half the time so how can you expect them to like someone else? In today’s world, if you do not give them a reason or an excuse, they will fabricate one or bend the truth to suit their needs. Most of the time, it isn’t about you; it is a direct reflection of them and that is the hardest pill to swallow. I don’t know about you but I believe what God knows about me is a heck of a lot more important than what people think about me.
5. If I can put in effort like a maniac to a “job” then I sure as heck can put equal effort into my family. Being unemployed for 6 months has not been a walk in the park for me. I am not, let’s say, the domesticated type. It has afforded me the opportunity to slow down and realize that effort and attention placed to truly important things make the biggest difference in life. I have always known it; I just didn’t always practice it. Honestly, it is emotionally draining for me many days to “hold it together” to do my “job” and when I get home, I want to “veg.” I did not realize how truly stressful work was and how it affected my moods. This is something I am working on. What I refuse to sacrifice, as I move forward, is my family and friends. No paycheck is worth what I have been building and have found to be true happiness. It is a piece of mind I can’t get from any meds but I can keep with intention and effort.
4. Don’t let the world turn you cruel. No matter how bad you want to give the world or someone a taste of their own medicine, it’s not worth loosing yourself over. It was Dr. King and Gandhi who said, “The problem with an eye for an eye is pretty soon everyone is blind.” Romans 12:19 “Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord. ” This was a bitter pill for me to swallow this year. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I so wanted to lash out on so many occasions for various reasons. Romans also states, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Are you serious? How in the world was I supposed to do that? Philippians tells us, “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” It is true. It relates to # 6 above. I do not have hate in me. I tried. When I did, it made me into something I wasn’t and everything about me hurt. I had to let it go. It wasn’t just about my job or my cousin dying, it was everything. I was hateful and bitter and going against my nature – my true nature – physically hurt. I had to let it go. That was hard. Know what was harder? Adding all those things, people, etc. to my prayer wall. It took awhile to be able to genuinely pray for them. But now I know, that is truly the greatest gift.
3. If you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, shine your own. That isn’t so popular, I know. Often we are so caught up in waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel we get lost in the dark. Or run over by the train when it comes barreling down the track because somewhere in the darkness we took a wrong turn and ended up in the subway and didn’t see it coming. We all have a choice in life to be a lighthouse or a monument. A monument just stands there. You can charge admission, have pretty things, a beautiful building, an appealing program, lavish interior and all the amenities a monument brings. At the end of the day, a monument just exists. It is a place where people visit; a place events are held; a place to maintain. A lighthouse serves a purpose. It may be battered and bruised but it is a guide. It shines its light for all to see. It offers hope, comfort and warmth. It breaks thru the darkness, the mist, the fog, the waves, the storm and it stands. We all have a light within us. It is what we choose to do with it that matters. I don’t have to fear the darkness or storms because my light shines brightly and I am not scared to shine it for others. No more getting lost in the subway tunnels. Now, I am sure there will be times when it takes a little longer to get the light to full strength or moments when it may flicker from time to time (I am human after all) but I have realized I can light my way just fine and I know where my power source is coming from.
2. There are many sources of comfort but nothing beats the prayer, snuggles and Supernatural. We all have our go to when we are feeling “iddy biddy.” That thing we have to relax, calm our mind, relax our soul, make us feel better when we just don’t quite know what is wrong or in my case, when we have totally worked ourself into a state of complete and utter (fill in the blank…) 2018 strongly reaffirmed that there is nothing better than prayer, snuggles and Supernatural. Odd combination you think? Well, that’s your opinion. I love spending time in my prayer closet. I have learned this past year that God listens to all prayers. Prayers don’t have to be on your knees, face to floor. No, they can be laying on your back, singing at the top of your lungs to Him. Sometimes they can be balling your eyes out. Sometimes they can be reading His word to Him and asking questions. Sometimes, they are merely having a conversation – heart to heart – with Him. And sometimes, they are on your knees, no words just merely reaching out and letting Him listen to your heart. He listens in the shower, the kitchen, while you’re cleaning the cat box, smoking, lying in bed, on your bedroom floor, in your car… uh, He listens pretty much whenever you talk to Him. And who does not like snuggles? My favorite is after a long day, snuggling up to Dewain. I feel safe and warm and loved. No matter how ick the day was, I can find comfort next to him. Granted, if I get too warm and comfortable, I will fall asleep but I think that is part of the plan. It is feeling loved. Snuggles with the cat. Yes it is annoying at times but there are times when I am feeling down and the cat just seems to know. Or during the hurricane and right after when my nieces were here and we’d snuggle. It reminded me of when my kids were little. And finally there is Supernatural. I love a good story – TV show or movie. But for me, nothing beats Supernatural. No matter my mood, no matter what I am doing, I can always count on Supernatural. I turn it on and suddenly it becomes an all day binge. I’ve seen every episode (at least 50 times) but it doesn’t matter. I can calm down, get motivated, chill, relax, work, sleep, watch all with it on. I like the characters, the story, the show. You do what you need to do. For me, I’ll stick with prayer, snuggles and Supernatural.
and finally…
- My faith can move mountains and my doubt can create them. It is only natural for me as a human to have doubt, worry and fear. It it wasn’t then it wouldn’t be mentioned on the View… just kidding… it is mentioned in the Bible and several of the strongest examples for us were affected by those very things. Noah – I think it is fair to say in his case it is easy to question your faith until it starts raining. Over the past year, I have realized that I do not need to vent my issues (yes, I need to vent thoughts but not complain about my situation or feelings) because I don’t need sympathy; I need strength – thus I pray. It isn’t about me – thus I need to listen more and hear; understand – and talk less. The things I mentioned above, I have always known and I get all excited about them then seem to not know them then get excited about them. Great cycle. But I truly learned this past year is how to make them a permanent part and practicing part of who I am. I learned its ok to be me because I am ok. God loves me. He knows I am far from perfect but He knows I try each day to be better than I was the day before. He try knows my heart and I do not have to justify who and what I am to the world. This is the greatest lesson I drew from the past year.
I will carry all of these into this new year and work even harder to make them come as second nature for me. It has made me a better person and for that I am grateful. Even in my moments of madness, I am grateful for I know to whom I belong. In looking back at it, I realized God had a plan after all. In that, I give thanks.
So, pitter patter, 2019! Let’s do this!
Comments are closed