Because I’m Me

Look at me… churning out another post. That is what happens when my mind is in overdrive. I really think I need to quit blogging and use this creativity towards my book. The challenge is random thoughts. It’s ok. It will pass.

I have been job hunting. It is a full time job looking for a job. If you haven’t done it lately – and I am not talking looking on the side because you have a job and you just want to put feelers out there; I’m talking about looking for a job because you need to be gainfully employed – it is something to behold. I have to say all in all,I have been blessed. To be my age, I have not held a litany of jobs. I have a pretty steady work history. I have not been in the job market for 10 years and so much is different.

I have done copious amounts of research on job hunting and interviewing. Let’s be honest, if I am in a “mood” I do not make the best interviewee. I know this and it adds quite a lot of stress. I am battling internally as well as externally. You have no idea how many times before an interview I earnestly pray for the Holy Spirit to lead me through the interview. If I did it on my own, I’d be in a world of trouble.

INTERVIEWER: “Tell me about yourself.” This is a standard interview question. I’m inclined to reply, “What would you like to know?” or “Could you be more specific?” Let’s be honest, they have my resume and my application and a cover letter and chances are, I provided them with letters of recommendation so they have basic information about me. So what it is they want to know? I know from research this question is designed to give me an opportunity to verbalize my skills and market myself to them. Don’t give personal information, etc. etc. But wouldn’t it be better to ask, “why don’t we begin by having you elaborate on the skills and experience you have which make you qualified for this position.”

INTERVIEWER: “Why do you want this job?” or “What interested you about this job?” If I answered honestly, I would have to reply, “I am out of work, I need a job, the pay is in a range comparable to what I was making and the job description was within the parameters of my skill set.” That; however, is not the answer they are looking for. They want to know you bring value to their company and you applied because you see the opportunity in it.

INTERVIEWER: “What did you do at your last job?” Just once I’d like to answer, “Depends on who you ask.” Let’s be honest. All of us can say that. If you randomly ask a dozen people at our places of employment what we do, you’ll probably get 12 different answers and our job description may say something entirely different. Do we really know what everyone does? No. We know what we think they do and what they do for us.

INTERVIEWER: “What is your greatest strength?” To me, this is a loaded question. Now, I just got out of the car after praying so I have to say my greatest strength is God. That; however, is frowned upon. My second greatest strength is not saying everything that pops in my head… ding ding… we have a winner! Yet, if I answered that way, surely I’d be crossed off the hiring list. My third greatest strength is empathy. By the time I get here I realize they don’t really want to know my true strengths; they want to know what strength I bring to the Table as an employee. Ahhhhh… the sad part is, I could justify and explain how all of the above make me a better employee and a great addition to any team. But that is an exercise in futility. So, Bob, let’s go with, I learn at an incredibly accelerated rate, thrive in a fast paced environment and can bring order to chaos.

INTERVIEWER: “What is one word that describes you?” I will go ahead and tell you, I do not bend on this one. I always answer the same way. I reply, “Saved.” There is always a gasp and quiet. “Because I can tell you how tenacious, intelligent, diligent, creative, hard working, driven, etc. I am but if I am not saved, none of that matters.” I do not apologize for that answer. I will not change that answer. I will not study to come up with the “correct” answer. My answer stands.

INTERVIEWER: “Would you say you are more a leader or follower and why?” To be honest, I have always wanted to answer, “I’m neither. I am Batman, Harley Quinn, Belle, Widow, John Wick, Jessica Jones, Mother Teresa and Tony Stark all rolled into one. What you get depends on you. I can be the nicest, sweetest most humble person you will ever meet. I will give you the shirt off my back. I can also be fearless, vindictive and think I am indestructible. I have the mind of a genius, I love to read, I don’t socialize but when I do, I am loyal to a fault. I do not believe in following the masses nor starting an uprising but believe me, if need be, I stand firm in what I believe. I will not start anything but I will finish it. I may be small but I am fierce. I would never underestimate me but that’s on you ” That is a wee bit extreme, I know. But I really would like to say it. The truth is I answer the question by saying it depends on the situation. To me a true leader knows when to lead from the front and the rear. They know when to march with their people and when to encourage them to lead. Not everyone can be the front person and not every front person is a leader. A true leader knows leadership is about people and they will do whatever it takes to build people up; help them achieve their potential. A leader does not tear people down. A leader does not dictate, a leader adapts. A leader does not use people but instead cultivates an environment for other to grow and thrive. A leader is not afraid of the trenches, in fact, a leader knows how to dig them , fill them, walk over them and find them. So the answer to your question is I am both.

INTERVIEWER: “What is your greatest achievement?” I truly cannot stand this question. I know they are looking for a specific project or task that I did which I am so proud of that I can’t help but brag about. I’d like to say, “I’m rapid cycling Bipolar 1 and I’m in my mid-40s. I have not been on heavy medication for nearly 15 years, I have never been institutionalized, I have not offed myself, I have not had any run ins with the law and while I meet all the clinical criteria, I do not fit the clinical norms or societal stereo-types.”or “Well I drove myself to Pennsylvania once and I only got lost lost one time. That was huge!” or “I went skydiving in Las Vegas” or “I have been married to the same man for 30 years.” Those are true achievements to be proud of. Instead, I answer the closest I can to the truth. I don’t have any one particular thing (in my work) that I look at and say is my greatest achievement. I think what I am working on at that time is the greatest. I look to the next project or task and give it my all. If I focus or benchmark everything I do on one thing, I will never truly know what I can accomplish or what to strive for. I refuse to pigeon hole myself.

INTERVIEWER: “Tell us about a time when you had to work with a group of people to complete a task/project when everyone did not agree and personalities conflicted.” Are you serious? Do you have children by chance? Because if you do, you will know you already answered that question a thousand times over. Have you ever been to a family get together? I think books could be written about that. Youth – youth in Sunday School – youth on mission trips – youth trying to wash the bus – for that matter, youth trying to walk up the stairs as a group. “Well Becky, that was a daily occurrence. I have to be honest, I try to avoid conflict, so normally, I sat and watched everyone act like 2 year olds until the temper tantrums started then I would unassumingly do the work and complete the project myself. As they wore themselves out and egos deflated, I handed everyone the completed work and all the department heads took credit. That is why they got paid the big bucks. You see, I am doer and problem solver. The problem was ego and power. So I did the work, solved the problem. Can’t change a person’s personality but you can shut them up.” I’m thinking, especially now a days, the question really should be, have you ever had the opportunity to work with a group of people to complete a task/project where everyone agreed and personalities were not an issue? Tell us what that was like. That would be much more difficult and mind blowing. “It was the oddest thing. Everyone came to the meeting on time. They were prepared. No one raised their voice. They said please, thank you, excuse me – but not in a sarcastic way; in a nice way. They gave their recommendations and reports. It was all put together into a larger report. Edits were made with no fuss. Research was quickly gathered. It was like, like, someone had sprinkled pixie sticks on everyone.”

INTERVIEWER: “Why should we hire you?” To me, this is a loaded question. I’m often tempted to respond: “Because you have an open position and I am available.” or “Because I’m me.” (Maybe have Genie from Aladdin suddenly burst out in his song – You Ain’t Never Had a Friend Like Me – in the background for further effect.) I think one time I may try, “Why wouldn’t you hire me?” That would turn the inevitable next question of, “Do you have any questions for us?” around, now wouldn’t it? Maybe it should be phrased, “Because I cannot think of one reason why you would not or should not hire me.” This is generally the last interview question. Much like the first interview question is “Tell us about yourself” is designed to be a catch all and this time a recap for me to sell myself. Usually by this time, I am tired – sometimes bored – and I can barely muster the brainpower to fluff it. It is hurting physically to keep the fake smile going. I know they have already made their mind up – yep, she’s made the final cut or nope, no interest. At this point, I know what I say is kinda sorta irrelevant. But what is key, beyond a shadow of a doubt, unlike the first question, is I make it about them. Let’s be honest, a successful interview is all about them. The key is did you make them feel that way while selling yourself?

INTERVIEWER: “Do you have any questions for us?” I have learned this is very important. I used to say no, I’m good. This is a no no. Always have questions for them. Remember, you are interviewing them just like they are interviewing you. Also, never forget, an interview, as with life, they may forget what you say (even though they are writing stuff down) they may even forget what you do but they will never forget how you made them feel. Its true. Interviewers are people, too. Unfortunately and fortunately, you have to remember that. At some point, you have to remember, it is about them, too. Always ask “Was there anything you found on my resume or through this interview process that was alarming to you?” I also recommend, “What about my application and resume stood out?” Be sure to ask 1 or 2 company specific questions. Add in 1 or 2 questions relating to the position itself – what is the most important skill necessary to succeed at this position? Do you have any concerns about my ability to deliver or perform in that area based on our conversation today? I always end with when do you plan on filling the position? Just remember to tailor the questions to the interview but always ask the first two.

I have found in this process that all interviewers start by saying, ‘relax. Just be yourself’ when in reality, you need to be prepared. They are looking for specific answers and there is supposed to be a reason for each question. I have to admit more than once I have an internal conversation going on while I am interviewing. “You really do not want me to answer this question honestly.” I no longer question how some people got hired. I also now clearly understand probationary periods. Let’s face it. I am not great at interviewing. Some people could sell a pool to hurricane flood victims while standing in 5 feet of water in the rain as the lawn furniture in their backyard floated by. They get in to an interview and do magnificent; get hired and turns out they can’t read or turn on a computer. But hey, they interviewed well. They had “the right” answers to all the questions. The panel loved them. Does that make them the best employee? No.

I went to an interview once. I noticed no one on the panel was looking at me. They were so intent on writing every word I said down on paper, they lost sight I was in the room. I talked faster, they wrote faster. They also spoke in a condescending voice. I was not impressed to say the least. I was not sure anyone was actually listening to me. So when they asked me a question about motivating difficult people and getting people to cooperate, I simple answered, “Duct tape and a baseball bat.” Two of the four looked up. Two wrote down my response. I laughed and got their attention and said let me explain. I knew at that point the interview was done for me; however, I wanted it done.

I was asked once to write a sentence that described me and would catch the attention of the company. It should be persuasive, creative and concise. It had to be 150 characters or less. Not words; characters. I worked on it for quite awhile. Finally I submitted, “In a world full of princesses, I’m Batman.” If nothing else, it left room for discussion.

I had a “writing exercise” for one job interview. I was left alone in a room with a sheet of paper with the assignment and a notepad to complete it. I finished in no time and since I had a lot of time to spare, I wrote my “real” response for grins and giggles. I did not submit it but in hindsight, I think I should have at least left it where they could have found it. Here are a few quotes from it: ‘Effective government is an oxymoron. There is no such thing. It is not a term that can be applied across the board broadly then expected to stick, especially at the local level.” “People need to understand transparency is a word that sounds great and is often advocated for until the mirror is pointed at them. No one truly wants transparency in government, only their perception of it.” “No audit or audit report will truly improve a city’s governance. A city’s governance, by definition, is it’s mayor and council. They are the ones charged with setting policies and laws. All audits do is re-enforce their power. Will reports of any kind improve the government’s management? Only to the extent management respects council. To improve governance, council has to enact changes based on recommendations that are in the best interest of the city based on facts and their constituents. Management has to be willing to step up and enforce or enact policies and procedures not specifically granted to council and enforce that which is determined by council in addition to make sound recommendations to council and push for necessary and needed changes.” And finally, “When it comes to government, internal control processes go out the window when you have too many chiefs and not enough indians. When you lose focus on what your purpose is and who you work for, you no longer have control.” Granted, had I submitted that written response (along with the rest, I probably would have be banned. Why? Nothing I said was false.

There in lies the great truth about getting a job. It isn’t how smart you are or how much you know. It isn’t your ability to do the job or thrive. It isn’t about the experience you bring to the table or insights that could enable the organization to thrive. It is about conformity. Do you conform to the cultural norm? Do you appear to have done your homework? Do you articulate well? Does the panel (who may or may not be qualified to make a decision) feel (key word here) you would do well – based on that one moment in time? Instead of asking for examples from previous jobs, why not ask about scenarios from the position you are applying for? It accomplishes the same thing – how well do you think on your feet? How would you fit in the organization? Are you an out of the box thinker? Why not ask specific questions about the application or resume? “I see you worked with xyz. Tell me what you liked most about it. Tell me what you learned from it. Did you enjoy it? Would you do it again? ” “I see you have a certification in abc. What prompted that?”

I was asked “What is your ideal work environment?” I wanted to laugh. One with clean bathroom and where the toilet paper is not on the floor. Seriously. That is all I ask. I can work anywhere but I really do not like my toilet paper in dirt, water, pee or bugs. I had that. I took to hiding my roll. I think Mike Rowe said it best, ” Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.” There is no perfect job just like there is no perfect employee. I will not find happiness in a job. I am not defined by a job. A job is not who or what I am. I have learned true joy is found only in my relationship with Jesus Christ and happiness is found with those I love. Nothing is more important than family and friends. Nothing. No job will give me what I find at home.

So, while I search for a job I need to remember to be faithful in prayer. I do not ask for a job but for God to put me where He wants me to be – where I can do the most for Him. Wherever that is. I have no clue what that is but whatever it ends up being, I know I will work hard at it. I will never forget that my worth does not lie in that job for it is just a job. My happiness can never be broken or stolen by wherever it is. When the time is right, I will become a part of an organization to work simply because I am me.