Have you ever seen the movie, “The Breakfast Club?” If you are from my generation you have. Older generations had the “Rat Pack” and we had the “Brat Pack.” They starred in several movies together and we watched them all. There was something about the Breakfast Club, though, that just seemed to resonate. Personally, I love the letter that was left for the principal to find when detention was over. To me, that sums up a lot.
Dear Mr. Vernon,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever we did wrong. But we think that you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms, and the most convenient definitions. But what we found is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club
Maybe it was my age when I first watched the movie. But I still say there are fundamental truths in that very short letter. I simply loved it then and I love it now. I do not think “kids today” grasp the true meaning of the movie or the message it was trying to convey. The ironic part is for a generation who is hell bent on equality and being heard, they of all people should love that movie and that letter should be their mantra. Yet, the sad truth is, their snowflake sensitivities would never allow them to take a moment and see the truth behind the labels let alone spend a Saturday in detention. I’m not sure any of them know how to articulate such a poetic and meaningful response less alone get it grammatically correct. They’d first have to get over the wounds inflicted by the initial assignment to begin with which would leave them devastated for the majority of the day.
I am sure I am being way to cynical. Today’s kids would, no doubt, write a fifty page dissertation arguing why the assignment was unfair and attacking the principal for the audacity to even ask them to justify their existence; hence, clearly demonstrating they did not get the purpose of the assignment. What I find ironic is the same question was posed to a group of students who got detention in a modern day movie. I watch the movie Jumanji quite often. I call it a “sleep movie” now. I realized that the 4 students who got detention sat in front of the principal and squirmed trying to justify, apologize and whine about why they got detention before he shut them down. He said to them that the reasons didn’t matter. He said to them, ‘You should be asking yourself who you are in this this moment. You get one life…” Isn’t that what Mr. Vernon asked the Breakfast Club to ask themselves and write out in detention? Who they were? The difference? The Breakfast Club spent a day together in the library figuring it out. The Jumanji crew got sucked into a video game and spent who knows how long becoming who they should have been all along.
I have the letter printed on a sweatshirt. I told you, I really like the message in it. I have even used it in real life – a couple times. Why? There are a couple reasons:
If I would have been in detention that day, I would have been the one who would have written the letter. I’m usually the one in groups who does the actual work or makes sure the assignment gets done so we all don’t get in trouble. Given the days events, I am pretty sure, I would have written it. Given the group dynamics, I would have been the “brain.” The only difference is, I am not always so concise.
I believe it is human nature for everyone to see people, ” you want to see [them]. In the simplest terms, and the most convenient definitions. ” Let’s be honest, everyone is prone to making judgments and normally those judgments are superficial. Studies indicate the average person determines their initial perception about another in the first 60 seconds of meeting someone. How can you possibly accurately know anything about someone in that amount of time? What if you caught them in a bad moment? Take a job interview for instance. An interviewer makes their initial decision when the person walks in, shakes hands and sits down. Watching a person from a distance is no sound basis for anything. If someone was to see me drive down the street in my car, I have to say, I can only imagine what they think. Is it my responsibility to be on my guard 100% of the time? Does the way I wear my hair determine what kind of person I am? If my shirt does not match my shoes, is it a character flaw? We do have a tendency to widdle someone to simple and convenient definitions often without substantiating or supporting evidence. They have a scowl on their face thus they must be mean. They are wearing an expensive suit thus they must be rich. They drive a beat up car thus they must be poor. They got poor grades thus they must be stupid. They have a mental illness thus they must be dangerous. They couldn’t possibly have committed a crime, they go to church. (Like I conveniently lumped all “young people” and stereo typed them together for a reference for the purpose of this post knowing good and well all young people aren’t like that… just saying…)
When we are intentional with one another, we will, in the end, find we have more in common than we do differences. As “the brain” pointed out in the letter to Mr. Vernon, we are all, ” a brain, and an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal .” In some form of the words, we can all meet the definitions of those terms. We can also meet the qualifications of someone’s view of of them. I could tell you right now how I meet the criteria for each but I will spare you. Take a minute. Think about it. It is true. Why do we have to chose just one? Why is one better than the other? I have to ask, why must we label ourselves or stifle ourselves into that label to begin with? Is the one label who or what we are? If we are all four then answer is no. And who the heck was the one that applied the label in the first place? We are so much more than what someone thinks or tells us we are.
I guess there is a purpose to this post. As I look for a job and have to answer a litany of questions about myself, I become more and more aware of who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin not because it is defined for me or because someone told me. It is because I was created with a purpose. I am wonderfully made. Just because someone else lacks the ability to see my worth does not diminish anything about me. That is a hard pill for me to swallow. I would try to “fix” what I perceived to be flaws seen through the eyes of those who did not, could not and would not see me for the perfect creation that I am. The things that make me a unique human being, be they interpreted by others as good or bad, are what makes me “me” and are not up for negotiation. I am not a work in progress for other humans but rather by the Creator Himself. In this process, I have realized that others are the same, too. I have come to appreciate people for what they bring to the table a lot more than I used to.
This whole process has brought me closer to God and for that, I am eternally grateful. I can, without a shadow of a doubt, proclaim I am a mad princess saved by Grace! I know most of what I bring to the table but more importantly I know who I bring to the table so trust me when I say, I do not mind eating alone because really, am I ever truly alone? It does not matter what the world labels me because God has already labeled me His and THAT, my friends, trumps it all. No judgement I can receive here is eternal. It may sting and may even hurt my feelings but as long as I know and live the Truth, in the “simplest” terms, it doesn’t matter in the end.
Knowing all this, believing all this and living all this are not the easiest things. It is downright hard. It is something you have to remind yourself every single day. Maybe that is why I like the Breakfast Club letter so much. When I read it, I am reminded of it. Here it is again, rewritten with the mantra we should all have:
Dear World,
I accept the fact that I live in this world, I am not perfect and for some reason, I am going to be judged no matter what I do or say. But I think that you’re crazy to make me believe you think you know who I am. You see me as you want to see me. In the simplest terms, and the most convenient definitions. But what I know is that I am saved, and unconditionally loved by my Creator, made with a purpose, endowed with gifts just for me, and I am perfect as I am. Your approval is not necessary as I belong to Him as His Truth has set me free.
With that being said, now you understand what I mean when you hear me mutter, mumble, scream, write, ramble, whisper, ‘Sincerely Yours’
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