If the past couple years have taught me anything, it has taught me that silence truly is golden. The problem is so many people prefer silver to gold and do not know how to just be quiet. One does not have to show up to every argument to which they are invited. Many times, there is no argument to show up to. The true issue is, simply put, people have forgotten that the key to communication is to listen with the intent to understand NOT with the intent to reply.
When one listens with the intent to reply, the message being relayed gets lost in translation. The listener is so busy formulating their response, they often miss critical pieces of what is being said to them. They most certainly miss the subtle cues being relayed along with the verbal speak. To be honest, verbal communication is becoming a lost art. Written communication is on life support. Soon, we will be left with some form of cryptic text – social media – 60 second video – shorthand with slang and dialects which may be universal but nothing but a sad, dumbed down version of what once was human communication.
This is happening each and every day. It is being caused by many factors: uptick in social media, banning of books, increase in video versus the printed word, the dumbing down of education on all levels to include secondary education, the adoption of cultural norms as acceptable as formal (i.e. shorthand in formal papers and writing,) political correctness being adopted in all forms and aspects of everything (by political correctness I mean whatever hot topic is being blasted at the moment,) censorship, apathy, laziness, blame, victim mentality, excuses of any and every kind and life itself.
When you read (if you read and can read) news headlines, you get a mix of opinion and news. One cannot help but walk away bewildered and often times, lost. It is impossible to scroll through pages and pages of random headlines without being impacted. Believe it or not, it is on purpose. (That is a topic for another post.) Embedded deep in some stories is the term (or phrase) “silent majority.” What is this silent majority? Actually, it isn’t a majority; it is a silent generation. It is a generation sandwiched between two of the largest generations, both committed to misunderstanding the other. It is a generation that, for all intents and purposes, chooses to be silent, and believe it or not, there is a reason.
Here are the top ten reasons Gen X is the silent generation:
#10 – Gen X is the last generation raised knowing what common sense is and they are not afraid to use it. While we (I will be saying we moving forward as I am part of Generation X) were taught the importance of education, it was also stressed to us that education without common sense was useless. Our generation knew how to start a fire – whether it be with a lighter, matches, rubbing sticks together, etc. BUT we were also taught the consequences of playing with fire. We were taught that fires were to be started for certain reasons not just for the hell of starting them. We respected fire and saw it not only as a tool but an item that bore much responsibility. We knew children should be kept away. We knew which one of our friends should be watched around fire and we knew it required responsibility. Common sense told us a lot about fire and how we approached it. Today; however, it has transcended all of this and as we look into the mystical allure of the earth element of fire we must not limit its natural power based on human confines based on discriminary confines and unleash it when it calls to us. What? While fire is living and breathing while burning, it is not that… morons. Common sense tells us if it is storming out, take shelter; if a cut is bleeding, stop poking at it; if it is cold outside, dress warm and/or put on a coat; if the stop light is red and you do not stop, you may get a ticket, get in an accident or get away with it – it is a chance you take; is it worth it? We didn’t need the basics pointed out to us and we certainly didn’t whine and complain about the consequences of not using common sense.
#9 – Gen X doesn’t post their business all over the internet. If I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike. I didn’t capture it in a photo and post it on social media. I did not update my relationship status every 20 minutes based on my feelings. I did not post what I ate or my bathroom habits – not to mention, none of us really cared. If we did something, we either wrote it down in our diary, which we prided ourself on keeping private or we told our closest friends. There is no denying some of the retelling may have been slightly exaggerated; however, it helped us learn great communication skills. We got to interact and ask questions. We learned to relay what was interesting and important. Seriously, we knew what was too much information and we kept that crap to ourselves.
#8 – Gen X did not get participation trophies; we earned them. There was no such thing as if you show up you get an award. If you wanted an award, you had to earn it. Coming in second was literally the first loser and everyone knew it. When it was an awards banquet, whether for sports or academics, we all sat there and had a moment of anticipation wondering if we would win. We did not in any way shape or form expect everyone to walk away with something. We knew we had to earn it. To earn it, it was tough. There was a set of criteria you had to meet. Some times, we knew what that criteria was – the highest GPA, stats for season – and sometimes we did not – like best improved, coach’s favorite. Yes, believe it or not, there was a time when awards were given based on (gasp) someone’s opinion. There were no protests; we all accepted it. If we were in the heat of battle – meaning you got the award for actual competition – the winner got the award. The losers did not get a consolation prize. Our award was we got to be there, in the thick of battle and know we did our best. There was, after all, next year. Did that mentality make us weaker individuals? Not at all. Most of us used it, whether we admit it or not, as incentive to do better. Some of us didn’t care but those with true competitive nature, did. Giving everyone something lessens the win.
#7 – Gen X was afraid of the red pen. From 1st grade to graduation, every Gen X’er knew red pens were reserved for teachers. The red pen was reserved for pointing out every error you made. It could be grammatical, mathematical, scientific, historic or any other subject. We turned in our assignments, tests, papers, notes, etc., and they were graded. We didn’t have websites to upload them to. We didn’t have online portals to go to to fill out and fill in. We had hard core, tree killing paper. When we got them back, we could lay money we would see the red pen had been as hardworking (in some cases harder) as we had been on the assignment. If the paper looked liked the teacher slaughtered a small animal on it while reviewing it, it was not a good thing. The goal was to have it look like they pricked their finger on a spindle and gently had a drop of blood float down. (Blood seems harsh but everyone from Gen X knows at one time or another we all equated the red pen to blood.) The red pen was the great equalizer. It did not care about anything except the facts and pointing out where we were wrong, where we could improve, pointing out a few good things – in the rare occasion, where we missed the point and ultimately, our grade. The red pen was harsh but helped mold us, enforce key principles and made us determined to either do better or give up. Today, the red pen has been rendered powerless because students are too soft. We Gen X’ers laugh! We sit and look at some of the work of today’s students and have a strong desire to get our own red pens!
#6 – Gen X was not a “remote control” generation. I am not just talking about the television set here. Granted, when I was young, I was the remote control. My first television in my house as an adult didn’t have remote control either. If I wanted to change the channel, I had to get up and turn a knob. I didn’t actually have cable until I was married and then it was only for a year. When I moved back to my hometown, cable wasn’t an option until I was 24. What I am referring to here is we were a generation that knew if we wanted something changed, we had to do something about it… ourselves. We couldn’t sit back moan, groan, complain, wait for something to happen, riot, loot, protest, rely on someone else, pretend it didn’t need to happen, avoid it, blame someone else, order it online, post opinions on the internet, start some kind of useless movement or some other senseless ploy. We ponied up, stepped up and did what we needed to do. We knew that whatever it was, it was up to us to get it done. If it didn’t get done it wasn’t anyone’s fault but our own. If we succeeded, great. If we failed, well, we would just try again. If we didn’t know what to do or how to start, we had these things called “brains” and you know what, we were not afraid to use them. Back then, they worked.
#5 – Gen X knows “RESPECT” is more than an Aretha Franklin song. We would not dare disrespect our elders, especially our parents. Consequences. (We may in our heads and in the privacy of our rooms but never openly.) It would be heresy to disrespect a teacher regardless if we felt they were a good or bad teacher. How many times do you hear of that today? Teachers now fear their students. How can they possibly effectively teach in that environment? Sure, we knew their were “bad” cops but we also knew their were goods ones but not for one minute would we disrespect them. Same goes with our military men and women. We opened doors for our elderly, pregnant women and those who needed it. We were taught, if nothing else, to respect the position until you could respect the person. The person had to earn it. It was never acceptable to show disrespect. We were to extend basic dignity and respect to everyone. There were certain situations that if that respect was not shown, we would suffer for it because we made the conscience decision to treat someone in a manner they did not deserve. In the case of teachers, cops, military, elders, parents, etc. – they had earned a certain level of respect. We were taught to treat the janitor the same as the CEO. Sir, Ma’am, please, thank you, May I? These were staples in our vocabulary and still are. We do not subscribe to this politically correct pronoun shit because, frankly, it is disrespectful… if to no one else, to us. I guess when it comes to respect, we were taught, believed and live out the golden rule. What is so hard about that?
#4 – Gen X can take a licking and keep on ticking. We are, by all accounts, the last generation who are not a bunch of pansy ass whiny babies. We got slammed in the face with a dodge ball and lived to tell the tale. If we had a beef with someone, we didn’t take a gun to school. We scheduled a time, told the entire school, met and beat the shit out of someone then showed up the next day and all was well. We drank out of rusty water hoses in the back yard not plastic water bottles (which by the way are the same plastic that the same people drinking out of them complain pollutes the planet.) We rode in the back of pick-up trucks without seat belts. If we ran inside with blood dripping from body parts, we were likely to hear, “Walk it off.” If we had the wind knocked out of us playing and was found lying on our backs, we’d hear, “But did you die?” Have a dramatic moment and run away crying? There was no coddling. We would get, “Don’t make me come up there and give you something to cry about!” We didn’t spend weekends on video games, we did yard work, housework and I swear, we did work for the neighbors. If we didn’t like the food that was put in front of us, we could go without or have it for the next meal. There wasn’t a plethora of choices for us, we took what we could get and made the best of it. We got knocked down, beat up and got back up. If I misbehaved in public, I got spanked in public and you know what? No one called the police. In fact, People applauded. If I was at a friend’s house, I got punished by their parents then my parents when I got home. Same went for school. At times, I thought there was a conspiracy. My feelings got hurt – oh, boo hoo. That was life. I was picked on, bullied and at times, tormented. It did not send me off this end or that. I regrouped. I learned to adapt. I learned to cope. I became a stronger person. I learned to handle what life threw at me. Was it fair? No. No it was not fair. But here is the thing, life is not fair. If I had been sheltered, wrapped in bubble wrap, kept from all of these experiences – both positive and negative, I would not have learned some of the most important lessons I needed to make it in life. It may have been crappy at the time but it didn’t last forever. Today’s kids, on the other hand, will forever be scarred by not having such experiences and forever cursed to be what we referred to as brats. (Oh and did I mention Gen X did not have time out. We got our butt beat. How’s that time out working for everyone? Those little brats are sitting there plotting what to do next instead of feeling the burn!)
#3 – Gen X believes nothing in life is free. We realize that there is a trade-off. The old adage, “no such thing as a free lunch” really is true. Brain children of later generations do not share this mentality. Maybe it is because they have become so used to the right now of everything, they forget the what comes later. Everything has a cost. If you take a breath, it is one less breath you have until you die. If you take money, someone had to earn it. The free phone is being paid by someone. The bridge you are driving over? Taxpayers paid for it. The welfare check you pick up while on your $1200 phone, it’s being paid for by working class folks. The food at the food bank, it did not mysteriously appear. The car you got on your 16th birthday, someone paid for it. The credit card you swipe everytime you purchase something, a bill is sent to someone to cover those expenses. To you, it may appear free because you do not have to physically exchange anything for it at the time you receive it but if you had any logical and rational sense, you would stop for a moment and think (it is not illegal yet) then you would determine it really is not free. Gen X doesn’t care too much for handouts. We prefer to take care of ourselves. We realize if we are going to burden someone with our needs, it is better to burden ourselves. We deplore being at the mercy of the government for we know once they have us, they have us, essentially making us slaves to the system (and for all you snowflakes reading this, I used the word slave… please note, it is race neutral and used in its proper context by its truest definition.) Why would we make others take on our burden? Worse yet, why would we burden future generations? Why would we take something that would essentially cost $10 and turn it into $1000 after taxes, interest and special fees? Why can we not use self control and save, wait or pay for it ourselves? Why must we claim victim status? We know we are not the Jones’. Our parents made that perfectly clear growing up. We learned, realized, accepted and embraced that nothing – not one single thing – was owed to us so why would and should we expect, demand or accept “free” shit when we know it isn’t free? Isn’t that basically stealing? I guess they don’t teach that anymore but what can we expect from a selfish, self centered, have to have it right now because I said so and it makes me feel good world. Gen X’ers just shake their heads. We know, it will all catch up to them. Keep your free stuff. We would rather earn ours.
#2 – Gen X knows a lie doesn’t become truth just because you accept it as such. Maybe it’s because we are afraid of the red pen… maybe it is because we have common sense… maybe it is because the rust in the water hose changed the chemicals in our brains but we don’t accept everything we hear as fact nor do we accept lies as truth just because we want to. We do know how to fact check and if something sounds a little off, it is more than likely because it is. We were probably the last generation to learn what true propaganda is thus, we do have that in our favor. We realize there are a lot of things we wish were true. I personally wish that a person’s metabolism increases and burns more calories as they age. The fact is, this just isn’t the case. Feelings are not facts. I cannot remember when this became the norm. You can’t legislate morality. Why do we try? The more laws you pass, the more freedoms you take away. We do not live in a democracy, we live in a constitutional republic. Taxing the rich for being rich stifles capitalism and capitalism is not a bad thing – if you understand it. Blaming a former president two years into your presidency is a bait and switch tactic not a creditable excuse. Robbing and looting in the name of protesting violence is an oxymoron. Being dumb enough to start another civil war because we were offended by the first one is by far the most atrocious act we could commit. Wanting to ban guns for mass murder is ludicrous when you think that Jim Jones killed 919 people with Kool-aid. Listening to millionaires in Washington who do not buy their own groceries, pump their own gas or have ever held “regular” jobs discussing income inequality is sickening. It is absurd to hold people accountable for things that happened way before they were even thought of but overlook things that some people do today. I still do not and can not calculate what someone else’s fair share of what I have earned is. When a Christian, private business owner refuses to bake a cake based on his beliefs (and let’s not forget, he tried to help by offering alternatives) it is a hate crime and taken all the way to the supreme court essentially bankrupting the baker BUT a terrorist with suspected ISIS ties kills 49 people in a gay night club and its just a gun problem, you really have to shake your head. When the birthplace of the free speech movement – Berkley – has become the epicenter of censorship, it really is time for even the most feeble minded to start asking questions. I can go on and on. Gen X’ers see all of this. We know what is happening and trust me when I say, our silence is not acceptance. We just don’t feel the need to step in the middle of the insane stupidity that surrounds it all. I can tell you; however, it is not going unnoticed. Do not make the mistake of thinking our silence is weakness, complacency or acceptance. I assure you, it is not.
#1 – Gen X knows the value of what truly matters. At our core, we don’t give a crap about your sex, race, ethnicity, national origins, religion, etc. We care about your humanity… who you are as a person. We hate labels. Labels pigeonhole people and frankly are for people who cannot think. We could give two craps if you are liberal, conservative, democrat or republican. Most of the time, those are false assumptions anyway. Who are you at your core? We take pride in our country. Don’t get us wrong – we feel there is a difference in supporting our government and our country. We know right is right and wrong is wrong. Gray areas only exist in certain instances. While we appreciate your opinion, we do not hang our well being or self worth on it. We keep our circles small even when it appears we have tons of friends. We know the key to life is different for every person. We know we cannot generalize everyone and group them all into one basket. We don’t get offended every time someone disagrees with us and we do not resort to name calling when we do not get our way. We do not crave the limelight or feel we always have to be right. We know that character, integrity, heart, soul and a person’s word is what matters. We may just be the last generation who is 100% able to think for ourselves. We choose rational thought over emotional action. We cling to fundamental truths that will not be erased at the hands of ignorant, entitled, misguided, unimagitiative demented or underdeveloped folks can’t accept (I will spare you all of those for now; maybe in a later blog.) You cannot force change on anyone; you can only change yourself. Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is. We as people make decisions to be victims or overcomers. We can be the change we want to see but we cannot force it on anyone. Define irony – forcing people into change or submission on matters which is basically the definition of slavery over the issue of slavery…hmmmm. Some kind of change.
Gen X is by definition the smallest generation. I personally think someone got smart and just said stop! No more. We cant have too many of this generation out there. Gen X is a special breed. We are squeezed between two polar opposite generations and they are large ones at that. We are so often overlooked and very much under estimated.
We are the silent generation. I can tell you this, we wont always be that way. Then, too, we learned a long time ago what was important and what wasn’t. I am sure when the dust settles from all the mess everyone is creating with their mindless stupidity and they are all standing there with the deer in headlights look, tears streaming down their faces, no money, no internet, not knowing how to use a phone book, a card catalog, rotary phone, thinking they are dying of thirst because they will not drink out of a rusting water hose, can’t drive because they don’t know how to change a flat tire, afraid to talk face to face to another person because they can’t text, not sure what pronoun to use, can’t tell a nickel from a quarter, not sure how to get out of the rain, it will be those of us in Gen X who will step up, no longer silent, with a half grin, shouting, “I would say I told you so but….” or “get out of the rain, dumbass…” or “At least you didn’t die…” then ultimately, “Tomorrow is another day…” while somewhere in the distance, off in the thunder and lightening it echos, “They are silent no more.”
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